Control Your Game

One of my favorite poker writers, Las Vegan Maryann Guberman gives sage advice when she writes the following:
Here, then are a few ways you can steer a game in the direction you want it to go.

1. Don't throw the fish back into the water. Every player relishes the times he can find a game where at least one person doesn't know how to play. He stays through numerous raises with a little pair; he calls every raise just to keep you honest; he isn't scared out of the pot by a pair on the board, even when he has nothing but a high card in the hole. Sure, he's going to draw out once in a while, maybe even several times an hour, but eventually his recklessness will cost him money. When that moment arrives, you want to be the person who profits. If you chide, berate, or even try to educate this player, whether it's out of frustration or as a good deed, you are running the risk of losing him and any money you might extract from him.

2. Don't enter a game without a sufficient bankroll. There's not a player alive who hasn't experienced a short run of bad luck. Bring enough cash to sustain at least two hours of tough breaks.

3. Don't be a loudmouth at the table. Mike Caro got the moniker "Crazy Mike" not because of his weird antics at the table but because he was doing research on image. Yes, an image is important in that it can force opponents to follow a direction you want them to follow when reacting to you. But a loudmouth image will usually just annoy them. And when your opponents are annoyed with you they are likely to sit out the hands you play.

4. Leave your angry persona in the parking lot. If you can compartmentalize your life, you can be a better poker player. That is, as soon as you leave the house, your argument with your significant other over a lost set of keys should be allowed to stay behind. The minor road rage you suppressed when the guy in front of you drove too slowly, causing you to miss the green turn light should be allowed to dissipate.

5. Save your anger for another situation. When that loose player beats you on the river when he shouldn't have been in the hand beyond the flop, don't get angry and especially don't show that you are angry. It will backfire on you, trust me. Not only will that player know you are emotionally upset but so will the other observant opponents. That's when they'll start gunning for you, and they'll probably succeed because you are now obsessed and are no longer in control of your own destiny.

6. Don't come to a game in yesterday's shirt. Miss Manners would probably have a lot to say about the unwashed poker player. The rest of us will just get up and leave the game if you smell bad.

7. Don't gloat. Okay, maybe you can gloat inwardly but when you take down a huge pot, do it with dignity. Don't get the loser any angrier than necessary. It's okay to let him stew because he might start chasing as a result, but don't overdo it to the point that he is affected enough to leave the game. As long as he has money in front of him, keep him happy. Tell him it was a good hand or a tough break or that you got luck.

Of you find you can't do any of these things, change careers. You'll never be happy and you'll probably not be a long-term winner.

On second thought, if you can't do any of these things, don't change careers. Just drop me an email and let me know when and where you'll be playing next. I could use a few easy wins.

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