Friendship

My friend e-mailed me today and asked if she scared me off by asking certain personal questions. Her letter was very long and filled with personal insecurities. The following is part of my reply to her:"Our friendship is not like a binge, dependent upon a mood swing to fill a need. It's not fragile like a grounded-robin with a broken wing. You don't scare me with your desert places. You see, I have it in me to scare myself with my own desert places. Our e-mail exchanges aren't tit-for-tat, you-show-me-yours-and-I'll-show-you-mine affairs. Sometimes the emotional wrting inkwell is dry and waits for the inkman to arrive and refill it. It's putting space between the stimulus and the response as Stephen Covey would say. It's stepping back, taking a deep breath and re-oxygenating the tissues. It's an open friendship, without expectation, obligation, or excessive neediness. We've both put much out there, therefore there's much to contemplate. One of my strengths and also my weaknesses is that I've always independently proceeded with my life on my own biorhythmic time frame. Because of this "attitude" I've been misunderstood. Ideas and thoughts take time to process and understand. By proceeding in a thoughful way, one can avoid the fire and pain of impulsiveness. I never want to ask myself the questions "Why did I say that?' or "Why did I do that?" It's not that I'm afraid. I simply like the soup to simmer awhile before eating it."

Link